So here I am again. My tail is between my legs, I’m opening up my kimono yet again and saying, “It’s ugly, but this is what I am.”
Here it is folks…very difficult to be in this position. I’ve fallen a long long way and hit my worst rock bottom weightwise in many years after having some success with TeamYRG TeamDDPYoga. Lost 40 pounds in a few months. Even met DDP at a workshop. The fall didn’t happen overnight. Noise all around my life. A piece of cheese here…ice cream and candy there. Then finally, it happened: my wife was pregnant with my daughter and I convinced myself somehow that it was OK for me to eat for 2 also. I was ready to hit that weight loss again pretty hard in ’12. Then in January, my wife was pregnant again. I tried to stay focused regardless but could never quite get back on the wagon. Then I had 2 kids pulling me in different directions…then I hit 385 pounds in July 2013…
You get the picture. You can see why I decided to describe myself as a prodigal. It’s really humbling to have success, screw things up, and then come back and say, “Remember me?” I used to watch The Biggest Loser show religiously and I remember a guy that won the whole thing in one of the earlier seasons and put almost every pound back on. I didn’t lose that much, but I’m in the same boat he was. The thing is, in January, I tried losing weight other ways just so I wouldn’t have to face any embarrassment. I wanted to start a new chapter and not feel like I was rehashing the same journey again. But guess what? That other journey didn’t work for me. It was almost like Carnie Wilson on her show Unstapled trying to attempt Dr. Oz’s program while DDP was saying (plus a few choice words), “Hello? Remember what worked for you last time?”
But there’s still a part of me that knows that DDPYOGA is the only plan that works for me. My knees and joints are too bad to start running or hitting a gym. Cutting back on food alone has never worked for me. I can lose weight in secret and still be successful. I don’t have to give up milk and gluten and still be successful (or so I thought). I lost 7 pounds in 3 weeks that way. OK results, but I can do better. So this week I gave up gluten and milk and BANG! Four pounds in 5 days. Total of 11 pounds since July 8th. The thin man within me is feeling stronger and is rising to the top. It no longer wants to remain silent. My buddy Brian has been an accountability partner and a godsend for me-he could live his massive success all on his own but cares too much about me to let me twist in the wind alone. Also, the voices of DDPRadio, positive people like Stacey, Arthur, and Sparky have been the background voices that have urged me on. They have no clue that they have because I have been lurking in the shadows. But my thin man within wants me to come back-let all the positive energy compound like interest over many years.
I didn’t want to come back. I didn’t want to be a prodigal. But the positive energy that I know I can latch on to and push me to the next level has pulled me back.
My encouragement is this: Don’t ever get too far gone. If you fall, get back up. Don’t buy into the lie that you can’t start over the next day. Don’t wait, or the journey will just be that much harder the next time…assuming you get that chance. I still have a solid chance to be around many many years to see my babies grow up.
And I didn’t give up and I am back. Heavier than I was the time I started YRG DDPYOGA before. But 100 times wiser and much more teachable.
Here’s one example of another man who came back one time. A prodigal just like me:
“There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything. “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’[ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate…” –Luke 15: 11-23
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